When we first hear the news of being a parent, the joy, the happiness that comes with it is unexplainable. Many emotions mixed within ourselves. Some of us are happy or some of us are just realizing the fact that we are going to become a parent. From seeing the first sonogram to actually seeing your baby for the first time. We all see ourselves as more concerned and happy about giving our children the best we can. Parenthood is not an easy step, we all learn, make mistakes, and come up with better solutions just to provide the best to our kids. Parenting is the hardest and the most rewarding job. It requires patience, courage, sacrificing your own peace just for your kid.
We want the best for our children, all of us. We want them to grow up to love and be loved, to follow their dreams, and to have success. Most, however, want them to be happy. We asked many parents what they want for their children and the only answer they had was to see their child happy and flourished. But how to make sure that it is the best for our child is the question that comes to our minds when we are actually trying to implement it. There are many ways you can start from when you really want your kid to be happy.
Factors that help in making a strong connection with your child:
Active listening to your child means paying attention with your eyes, not interrupting, and not waiting for your turn to speak. If they do not ask for advice, do not give it. Instead, ask questions such as, “What do you think you could do about it?” or “How do you feel?” Really hearing what your child wants to tell you will encourage them to keep in touch. Doing the whole conversation a lesson (provided by you) leaves them feeling inferior and powerless. Take advantage of the time together in a car or at a restaurant and practice listening to their ideas with an open mind.
Happy you first:
Emotional problems for parents have been linked to emotional problems in their children, as described in the book Raising Happiness. After all, unhappy people are also good parents.
In one study of “The Secrets of Happy Families”, children were asked: “If you were given one wish by your parents, what would it be?”
No, it wasn’t that their parents would spend too much time with them. It was not that their parents looked down on them, nor did they grant them greater freedom.
The children’s desire was that “their parents would not be depressed and tired”.
Children begin to develop feelings of infatuation with their parents. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your speech are all absorbed by your children. Your words and actions as a parent affect their self-esteem more than anything else. A compliment achieved, however small, will make them feel proud; Allowing children to do things their own way will make them feel capable and powerful. Conversely, demeaning comments or comparisons with children will only make children feel worthless.
Avoid making uploaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You’re more childish than your little brother!”. it causes as much damage as it does physical harm.
Choose your words carefully and be empathetic. Let your children know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even if you don’t like their behavior.
Let them fail:
It can be one of the most difficult tasks as a parent, but let your child make his or her own mistakes – and learn from them. Helping children prepare for adverse situations, help them learn to accept life’s realities, such as arguments, fights, and consequences.
“Children have to face the fact that this world is full of people with flaws,”
Christine Carter, Ph.D.
Avoid being a “helicopter” parent, a wandering parent, or a “snowplow” parent, who comes in and saves a child before something bad happens. Instead, divert your thinking to good things in life.
“The trick is to stay as far away as the child becomes independent but close enough that if the child is abused, parents can come in and pick him up,”
Encourage them on being good:
The most effective way to get kids to do something right: “You passed your bed without being asked – that’s awesome!” or “I was watching you play with your sister and she was very patient.” These statements will do more to promote good behavior over time than repeated reprimands.
Make a point of finding something that you can recommend every day. Give rewards – your love, hugs, and compliments can do wonders and are often rewarding enough. You will soon find that you are “growing up” with the behavior you would like to see.
Responsibility is something which comes right from the start of one’s life whether you are a parent or child, we all have certain responsibilities in our lives. When it comes to parents, we all make sure that we provide the best to our kids and don’t mess things up for them but one factor which we all miss is to give them the responsibilities that are meant to be theirs, not yours. Giving them space or time or telling them to do certain things on their own will help them in growing and realizing that not everything is easy. It requires effort, which will make your and your child’s relationship stronger.
It is difficult to understand that our child now has his space and that we cannot control every aspect of his life. You need to understand that by overcoming your child, you can lose his or her trust and communication. Of course, you still have control over your shoot but it is important to give him the right to a little independence. Let him make his own decisions sometimes, otherwise, your son or daughter will be defeated by you.
Appreciation and thankfulness:
Anyone who is not grateful to the poor and unhappy. We are happy only when we can say, “Thank you,” because it gives us satisfaction. But how do you teach your loved one to appreciate you? It’s so easy! For an appreciative parent. Encourage your children, for example, to serve others, explaining that it is a big job to help those in need. Take your son or daughter to a local church or donate his or her old clothes to the nearby Goodwill Center.
By teaching children to be respectful, we also help them to appreciate things and the people around them. An appreciative child develops confidence and positive self-expression so ignore it. A modest child who grows in love, respect, and care will be more likely to love the people around him. A child with hobbies and interests, discovering new things and skills at all times will be a successful person. Any child with understanding parents who set boundaries but always gives their children the opportunity to express themselves will always be proud of their little ones.
Don’t be over harsh:
We being the parents forget that we all have some limits and some boundaries which we shouldn’t cross, whether it’s between the parents or the children, what mostly comes to the mind of parents is when we’ll be harsh on our kids they will understand better and won’t do it again when they will be faced with the same thing. But what we all forget is, scolding and yelling create a space between a kid and his/her parent as they think that whenever they will do a mistake, their parents will yell at them and they will feel the same way as they did. It’s good to be harsh sometimes when they really made a big mistake but being overly harsh all the time will create a space between your kids.
In conclusion, there are many parents who try to be better every day for their kids. We all make mistakes and learn from them, to raise a child is not an easy job it requires a lot of things. But to be happy first is what parenthood is all about. If you will be happy so will be your kids, it all starts with you.